Ski tips for Beginners

Are you heading on a ski trip?

Do you need some:

(actually HERE to be exact)

Before we begin, I would like to dedicate this blog post to Meredith Gifford and Angie Finnie.

ok, allow me to set the scene:

now, allow me to introduce our friends:

now. in my defense, i had been training very vigorously all morning on the dinky slopes with my coach:

(actually, she was way too advanced for me –

but don’t worry – i one-upped her in the English Spelling Bee Competition –

So we’re one-for-one at the moment.)

(note: in this above statement – it was never said, “you are competent / able / average”… just…. well… not the WORST.)

“WEEEEHAAAA!!! WOOOHOOO!!!! YEAH!!!!”

this is a fantastic stopping mechanism and… it. will. work.

If you wish to try the che-stop-mechanism I suggest aiming for advertisement banners if there are any. From my research I have concluded that they are much softer than fences and easier to disentangle yourself from than mesh-wire.

Rogue snowboarders will also stop you.

But I do not suggest this method.

Now I only really traversed approximately 50 metres in this time and managed to “stop” myself approximately 21 times. With numerous instances of:

Apparently, the ski patrol did not like this:

and the next thing i know…

man-handled out of the snow and strapped to one of those stabiliser board things that you see on Grey’s Anatomy right before someone kicks the bucket.

(Yes, this is a legitimately true story)

I was carving, cutting, catching air, jet-turning, jumping and doing some tricks.

MAN ALIVE – TOTALLY SKIING LIKE A PRO!

so, if anyone is planning on hitting up the slopes this season,

I give lessons.

x x

If you’re into having a lol at my expense from time to time – feel free to whack your email in below – to keep up to date with when new cartoons come out (and don’t worry, I hate spam too):