Preparing for the fourth trimester.

Preparing for The Fourth Trimester

When a yoga student of mine found out I was pregnant she recommended “The first forty days” book by Heng Ou. I bought it within the first 20 seconds of seeing it (yes, judged it on the cover), and absolutely fell in love with the entire concept of the book. 

The premise of the book is that the way you enter the first 40 days of motherhood sets you up for the next 40 years. It is entirely focused on mothering-the-mother during this incredibly transitional time. The reason why the focus is so squarely focused on the mother (opposed to the baby) is that when the mother feels nourished, supported, cared for, looked after, warm, fed, grounded and safe – then she is able to fully tap into her own infinite resources and intuition to be able to mother the baby in the best way possible. 

Shortly after ordering the book, Emily Carson got in touch with me to tell me about “the fourth trimester” course she was running with Everybody studio and wanted to know if I’d like to join. I jumped at the wonderfully kind opportunity as from what I have heard from other mothers is that there is so much emphasis on preparing for the birth and labour and actually very little that prepares you for the days AFTER that, and I just think a course like this has so much value in what is a really vulnerable time of change and learning. 

I actually had Emily on as a podcast guest sharing about the Fourth Trimester – (and in fact I recorded this podcast, already knowing I was pregnant, although no one else knew yet! …Besides Warren, obviously.)

The course was run over 4 weeks via zoom (and my feedback was “MAKE IT LONGER!” Haha!) It was so lovely to connect with other expecting new mothers (Especially in these Covid times!). What surprised me about the course was that there were second and third time mothers on the course too. And for me this was such a powerful reminder from these 2nd/3rd time moms about recognising the importance and value of setting time aside for yourself, slowing down, setting clear loving-boundaries and putting yourself first in this time. It was really powerful to hear the stories of these women and the practical things that they wish they had done more of or less of, with the birth of their first/second children. I have taken so much of what they said on board for my own experience!

Emily is absolutely fantastic at holding space for women to feel seen, valued and have their stories shared in a safe and loving environment. A lot of the work comes back to being in the body – for me this embodiment is essentially where the connection to intuition lies, which is such an integral part of the motherhood journey. 

What I realised so profoundly on this course was how much we have lost our ties to ancient and traditional forms of disseminating information and heart-to-heart connection. In generations past, there would have been circles of women gathering in community, sharing stories of mothering heartbreak, overwhelming love and the deep struggles of the very all-encompassing emotional and energetic transition from maiden to mother. It is no doubt to me that these moments of deep emotional connection between women would have given resilience, hope, courage, strength and unwavering support especially to new mothers. 

So much of this deep connection is lost in our modern world, and even with close friends these days who we perhaps DO “connect” frequently with in the post-partum period, conversation does not really move beyond tips and strategies for better sleeping/teething/managing life or help figuring out practical things to make life less overwhelming – without really getting to the heart of what’s underneath it all. 

Emily’s course definitely brought that sense of story-telling and community for me – with her sharing stories like Inanna and her descent into the underworld and reemergence and the resonance it has to the journey into motherhood. This type of sharing really drops you back into a place that is missing from our modern lives, but so very needed. 

As well as this sense of community and story-telling there was a wonderful component of planning and preparing for the first forty days – with really insightful questions and guidance as to WHO we would want in our spaces, WHAT we want our spaces to look and feel like and HOW we are going to implement these things with planning and preparation. 

Emily also shared practical ways of processing everything if the birth doesn’t run according to what your preferences were and birth story listening is another offering from Emily which I can imagine to be very powerful if needed. 

It was also so lovely to have a facebook group to connect with the other mothers on the course and I’m hoping we will stay in touch via the group and get to virtually meet all the babies when they arrive.

If you are pregnant and have done “all the preparation” for the labour and birth, but haven’t really thought too much about what happens after that – (or how to prepare yourself for it!) then I would definitely recommend checking out this course from Emily and Everybody Studio – they are running another round beginning Jan 28th, So definitely jump on if it’s calling to you! (You can join from anywhere in the world!) it’s given me such a great foundation on which to plan and prepare for my transition into motherhood!

Thank you so much for having me on the course Emily – I really loved it and can see just how necessary and valuable this work is in the world!