I wore my crazy granny glasses yesterday…
I have these super “crazy granny glasses” that I think I bought at a vintage shop somewhere ages ago. Yesterday I pulled them out my drawer and decided to wear them.
(HALLELUJAH, LONDON – SUN!)
It’s been a while since I wore those crazy granny glasses.
In fact it’s been a while since I wore anything “crazy”.
Which is really how I’ve been feeling a little in life lately –
Like I’m stuck in a bit of a sticky place, somehow on the cusp of two different identities.
I remember “back in the good ol’ days” when I was living in Korea and used to wear parrots from my ears and hideous fake-gold plated wrist watches and socks with high heels (#fashion). I used to drink red wine, watch the whole internet whilst scrapbooking until 3am and make girls night party packs . I crafted, I journaled, I bought every single shred of cute Korean stationery I could find. My life was filled with random quirky adventures like being asked by strangers to “model” for their photoshoots:
(yes, it is me).Actually, I was asked to model for a few things (being the only blonde and all) – and why yes somewhere on the Asian internet I am in fact – selling chairs.
I loved washi tape and making labels and paper things and got myself wrapped up in epic baking fails. I used to blog about random cartoons like aliens eating penis and heinous ways to kill your ex-boyfriend. My life was FUN, quirky and pretty freaken random. I loved it all. Living in Korea lent itself to that I guess, or maybe it was my age.
At some point I shut down all my blog comments, killed indieberries.com entirely to turn it into a portfolio site (I know, an SEO-persons worst nightmare) and got stuck into building this new brand of Ché the yoga teacher.
I’m not sure where along the line that this creative, crazy, fun and random-adventures person has dropped off a little bit. Maybe it’s to do with London (and how it’s the unwritten code that everyone must wear the same shade of grey), or maybe it’s getting older and life getting (dare I say) more “serious” or maybe it’s to do with me and the fundamental shifts that I’ve experienced within myself since getting swept up in the yoga teacher path. Maybe I just don’t have that many crazy/random adventures any more. Maybe since yoga, it’s just that everything within me has softened a little bit – that I don’t have that many cartoon-worthy-garbage escapades with my husband any more.
Maybe it’s to do with the content I share and having this constant battle between wanting to share random quirky things that don’t really connect to anything, but also trying to hustle the internet for SEO, and share content that shows people the value I have as a yoga teacher. Perhaps it’s also to do with the effort it takes to write/draw content for blogging these days for so little “reward/feedback” (are people even reading this any more?!) especially when social media and the consumption of media is so instantaneous and fleeting. Maybe it’s purely to do with not giving myself time and space to DO all and BE all those things in the busy-ness of life and setting up my business. I’m not sure.
I’m still definitely all those creative, crazy, fun random-adventures person but it’s about ‘re-finding’ all those things from within this new framework, this ‘new’ location and this identity of “yoga teacher”.
This month I’ve dedicated myself to doing exactly that – of getting myself re-aligned with who I truly am – beyond the hustle and the busy-ness. And I can already say I’ve seen some wildly incredible and super powerful reminders that this is truly the way forward. I know it so deeply and it’s only been 4 days.
I thought a few months ago that I had really dropped deep into who I am and my purpose.
And whilst that strong connection to my purpose is definitely still there, I think there is another level deeper that my heart has to journey – and I think that journey is even deeper and closer to that creative, funny, quirky random adventures, cartoon loving girl that I am in my heart.
I’m diving in, stay tuned.
I read ALL THE WORDS. And PS. There is always another level ?
hahaha – BUT WHEN DOES IT END?!?!! (or does it just keep going until we are tiny puffs of consciousness?) LOL.
I miss the hilarious cartoon blogs so much! (And I also read all the words 😉 )
haha yay thank you for reading ALLL the words!! <3
Continue being the authentic YOU x x
I know just how much work the blogging, especially the cartoons, involves. But I really miss them… and I also read all the words…
But then…. I’m just your proud dad!
Love you Dad … and thanks for reading ALLLLL the words!!!
I love reading what you write/draw – whether something soul searching or something funny. You touch many lives without knowing it so please keep putting your thoughts out there…they can often be a bright moment in a dark day.
Thank you so much Anni! This comment has really made my day! I must say that it is really hard to keep up the blogging – because I don’t really keep up with checking on blog stats and numbers (it’s not really my jam) and then it’s difficult to know who is reading it or if people are even engaging with it at all when there isn’t any feedback. So thank you for sharing your thoughts! It’s inspired me to keep creating! X
I love (note: present tense) your indieBerries blog and all your quirky stories, but I also really admire your new yogi-self with all the insightful knowledge you project to everyone. Whatever it is you decide to write/do/etc I will continue to follow because what we (and by we I´m talking about myself, but probably speaking for many) really like about you is YOU, Ché, whether it the sometimes serene “serious” or the adventure “cartoon” girl. Because you are awesome and inspire so much, no matter what. THANKS FOR SHARING your journey with us! <3 <3
ah yay!! thank you lovely Esther! I really appreciate this kind comment! Especially when I know that now days most people are quick to scroll without actually taking time to read digest and comment! thank YOU for being part of the journey! <3
ah yay!! thank you lovely Esther! I really appreciate this kind comment! Especially when I know that now days most people are quick to scroll without actually taking time to read digest and comment! thank YOU for being part of the journey! <3
Dropping in to let you know I love to read what you share here! This felt like such a necessary read at this moment. Thank you. <3 All the best on your journey of diving deep! And I freakin' love the totally random fact that somewhere on the internet, you're advertising chairs.
Ah thank you Lotta! So glad you enjoyed the read and thank you for following along in the journey!
It is also possibly one of my greatest feats to date that somewhere on the internet in the middle of Asia I’m selling chairs. LOL, my life.