EXETER BUSH LODGE HONEYMOON

SERIOUS QUESTION: have you ever thought to yourself:

“Mmmm… I wonder how many photos of wild animals
and other people on honeymoon that I can handle before I start throwing up?”

No?

Well now is your chance to find out!

Honeymoon Part One:

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For our surprise honeymoon – I was completely spoilt by Mr Husband with not only one but two incredibly gorgeous and idyllic destinations. The first part of our honeymoon involved some road-trippin’ to Exeter Game Lodge in the Sabi Sands Reserve where we spent four dreamy nights surrounded by the African Bush and Stars –
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{cocktails off our balcony where we spent a few private lunches and many a cocktail hours}

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{our private infinity pool with a view to the bush and river bed}

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{hot husband-beast before he worked on his tan}

The lodge itself that we stayed in was absolutely gorgeous and I loved all the details that went into each tiny thing to make our stay feel so pampering and luxurious –

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indieBerries: WARREN! WARREN! Come look here! The toilet paper has real ribbon wrapped around it!
The Warr: oh, cool.
indieBerries: Warr, did you hear me?
The Warr: Yes, I heard you.
indieBerries: Ok, what did I say?
The Warr: You said the toilet paper has real ribbon wrapped around it.
indieBerries: ok you did hear me – but then your reaction was completely inappropriate. Could you try again please – with a little more enthusiasm.
The Warr: ok… um… “OMG!! REAL. RIBBON. LIKE REAL ACTUAL RIBBON. ON the TOILET PAPER!!! YOU SHOULD KEEP IT!!!”
indieBerries: ok.. getting better. But you should’ve known I was always going to keep it.
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Even the awesome shampoo and conditioner bottles had me all riled up. I basically spent the first 27 minutes of honeymoon arrival running around like a crazy person snapping pictures. Yeah, sorry about that husband – probably not what you had in mind for the first hour of crossing over the honeymoon threshold.
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You know when you can just tell that all the interior details have so carefully been selected and co-ordinated? Yeah. that.
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The above pic is surprisingly deceiving. Our bed was so huge that if we each lay on our backs on either side of the bed with our arms stretched out we didn’t even touch eachother. That’s not very honeymoon-like. However, they did use other means to make sure we remembered we were on honeymoon –
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The big double doors from our bed opened out onto our private balcony with our own infinity pool which overlooked the river bed. We also had an outdoor shower which opened up to the big ol’ warm African sky. Trés Romantique.
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{above: view from the outdoor shower.
Our indoor shower was completely glass which meant we could also look out over the riverbed.}
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Even our private mini bar was so well stocked with lime, tabasco, worcester sauce, tomato juice, salt and pepper, gin, tonic, vodka, whiskey, Amarula and amazing white and red wines. We could have gotten totally sozzled every single boozy-afternoon/night without even leaving our lodge. But of course we didn’t  – because we had to leave our lodge to indulge in all the game drives. (But don’t you worry – there were plenty of sun-downer drinks breaks on these game drives.)
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The personal attention to detail was phenomenal – every night on our sunset drinks break we had different snacks – ranging from dried fruit to popcorn to biltong and chips. And after the first sundowners they had already picked up our personal preferences and casually would slip in –

“What would you like to drink tonight? We’ve packed an extra bottle of red for the two of you… ”

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lavatory/lavatree. Hilarious. I know.
On our first night’s game drive – our game ranger made a joke about how the fireflies seem to be much bigger in Africa – and as he was talking he drove around the corner and we began to see massive fireflies up ahead. (COINCIDENCE!!) The fireflies seemed to be betting bigger and bigger as we approached – only for us to discover that the “fireflies” were in fact big lanterns that were hanging in the tree with a huge bucket of champagne on ice hanging right next to it –
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“Welcome to Exeter River Lodge!”
let’s have a pit-stop in the middle of the bush next to this champagne-tree!
clink clink.
If we decided to amble over to the main lodge in the afternoons we were always served with something delicious to snack on or a fancy cocktail or drink to take our fancy –
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After returning to our lodge one afternoon we saw that they had sent over some sweet treats – fudge, brownies, pistachio-nut and date balls as a “happy honey mooney” ha. The entire Exeter Lodge is run on a butler system – and it was completely indulgent to be waited on hand and foot by some of the most awesome personalities. We immediately hit it off with Ronnie, our butler – who cracked some jokes about “would you like still or sparkling water? You know, the jumping kind or the lazy kind?”
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One evening after returning from our evening game drive, one of the hosts came running after us to tell us “I’m so sorry! You left one of your sliding doors open this afternoon and some monkeys have gotten into your room! We have sent house-keeping over to clean up – so maybe could you just have a glass of sherry here while they sort everything out for you!”
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Of course I was furious – because we had seen those monkeys that afternoon hanging around the lodges – and whoever had left the door open (WARREN) had now basically invited them into our room to take whatever they could find.
indieBerries: Warren did you leave the door open?
The Warr: Well… I don’t think I did…
indieBerries: Well that’s just great. They have probably stolen all my precious things.
The Warr: But I thought that I was your precious thing?!
indieBerries: Don’t push me, Dyer.
It turns out that the monkeys had been in our room – to set up a romantic dinner for us to enjoy in the privacy of our own lodge. Not only was there champagne on ice waiting for us – but also two Springbok shooters, all curtains closed, candles lit, roses-petals ala-honeymooney and a soakingly-good bubble bath that had been drawn for us – with our gowns and slippers laid out ready for our private honeymoon dinner –
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“Warren and Share”
It’s like Cher – but more magnanimous.

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and. THE FOOD.
um. the most tender stack of Springbok, the most incredible lambs, ribs, warthogs, duck, roasted vegetables, soups, sauces, puddings, salads, breakfasts, steaks etc etc etc.
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Actually, I don’t want to talk about the food.
I loaded up the extra kgs on my belleh faster than you can say
“rocka-mocha-choca”
– which is exactly what they served every day on our early morning game drives:
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I mean….
Hot chocolate. Coffee. Amarula.
at 7am.
With dunking-cookies.
know,
Shut your drool trap
and kiss your pre-wedding-bod goodbye.
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“yeah, ok – I’ll have a cookie. And a rusk.
And another of those rocka-mocha-choca things
Oh you’re not going to eat that Warren? – ok, I’ll have it.”

The kind of place where you literally stuff your face,
Before breakfast.

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The Game Viewing itself was unlike anything I have ever seen before. Not only did we manage to see all of The Big Five – but we saw the “baby-five” – all the big five mothers with their cubs/babies. It was the most incredible experience and I have never seen so much interaction and activity at a Game Lodge before.

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After our first night drive and the half way through our first morning drive we had seen all of the big five apart from lion – I told Warren that I would fill in, in case we didn’t see any –

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Luckily though we saw some Lion pretty soon after I started perfecting my ROAR in Warren’s ear.

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Lion head-butt, it’s like a fist pump – but for lions.

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“LEAVE ME ALONE SO THAT I CAN LICK MYSELF IN PEACE.”

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humans – you are so. intolerable.
why won’t you leave?!

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morning sunrise coffee near the hippo-pond.

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{Sunrise}

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This picture above is black and white – in case you were confused.

1 Comment

  1. Honeymoon Quilalea - Ché Dyer on December 30, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    […] the most incredibly relaxing “Part One” of our honeymoon – The husband whisked me back off to Jhb where we then flew to Maputo – the capital of […]

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