Went for my second “scheduled run” today (week day, day 2 of the schedule) – a 20 minute run. My body was a bit tired from yesterday I think. I had reached the 18 minute mark RIGHT as I reached the door to our apartment building. I had two more minutes to go and was already at my front door. I could VERY easily have decided that 18minutes was enough – but then I remembered Kristy’s comment that she left on the previous journal entry – about running being SO much about the mental. So, I ran past our building, and into the cul-de-sac to touch the wall and back. And then I had to run in a circle around the garden for 10 seconds, because FUCK YOU TIMER.

Whilst I was just thinking about how tough it was to run for 20 mins, my mind then jumps to the half marathon day and suddenly 21km seems like the stupidest idea in the world! It’s very hard for me not to think, “well this running schedule says I must run for 20 minutes today, but if I’m going to make 21km – I should probably be running more than that!! It’s very hard for me not to want to jump straight to the end goal.

This has made me think a lot about what it means to practice yoga as a beginner. It’s very easy to think that we have to jump straight into the “crazy yoga” the ones with the pretzel twisted shapes and arm balances and wild hand-standing. It’s easy to want to throw ourselves in thinking that “if we are going to get to doing arm balances – (if we are going to run 21km) then we should just fling ourselves into arm balances (I should probably just try and run 11km today at least!)”. The thing is, we have to let go and trust the process. If I suddenly tried to run 11km right now – yes I could probably do it (although, I will no doubt be hobbling most of the way), but I need to learn to let go, to trust the process. To trust that moving steadily with trust and confidence will get me there in a way that is safe and good for my body. I’m learning a lot in the whole running thing.

Just like in the yoga practice, we need to do the work, we need to show up and practice. We need to work on all the building blocks that form the foundation of all the “crazy yoga” so that one day it all just fits into place. One day we just run 21km without even thinking about it, because we have done the work and laid the foundations to getting there.

Well, that’s what I’m telling myself at least.